End of the road

I've not been posting updates for ages. If there are updates, they are far in between. For months now, I've not really felt this urge to blog about my life, what I see how I feel constantly. Perhaps it is because i think too much and have too many thoughts jumbled up, or perhaps i just have nothing to say after these thoughts have been sorted out. Nothing I consider consequential, some things too consequential to be written on the blog. Blogging has in a way aided the introvert in me.

In my opinion, blogging is simply a shorthand to knowing more about someone's life and their thoughts so you know what to ask, what to be careful about, what you need to say. When you blog about something, you are extending an invitation to ALL readers to peep into your life and probe. Why else would you publish something on the world wide web? I personally find it ridiculous and contradictory that people blog about secrets they do not want revealed- not that I know such people although I've heard of them. These people are simply asking for it. No sympathy for them when shit befalls them. But enough bitching about people I don't know.

I have discovered that, I don't really want everyone to know about my life through a blog. It's too sketchy, too one-sided, too dependent on the feeling at a particular moment, too unbalanced. The people who do read this blog already do know about my life and those who dun are already on my msn. If you aren't, add me: annetan@hotmail.com

I've decided to close this blog. I no longer have this desire to self-censor myself when I type, choose what I write about, feel this need to update the blog. A new blog might just spring up in time, but it'll be later than sooner. It's been a good year and a half but I think, I'll go back to writing a diary. Adios.

Since stepping onto Singapore soil I've learnt that cept for my immediate reaction to the weather (the 'open suana' effect), nothing of significance has changed. I've simply slipped back into the same routines, the same mould.

Through this trip, I realised the great friends I have made throughout the years, some who ACTUALLY went to the airport to pick me up eventhough they knew full well we wouldn't be spending much time immediately after that catching up, those who actually remembered the date that I returned and actually made an effort to msg me, welcoming me back. It really means a lot to me. n i choose to believe that it comes straight from the heart and not from the fact that I bring with me stuff they wanted me to buy from US *grinz*.

Since Tuesday, I've had my share of homecooked dinners, breakfasts, gone to Zouk which was a rather disappointing experience, managed to bum at home, bid for my modules and now a steam boat lunch cum mahjong session at Siying's. The sense of belonging is really strong here.

Things to remedy : bad skin, bad hair, weight, the art of bumming

San Diego

I can hear cheering down the street from the hostel. The lights from the clubs and pubs are still winking at me. The city is still awake 10 min before midnight. I feel alive and unafraid. Behind me, 2 people are holding an intelligent conversation. They are not smoking and do not spot a body full of tattoos.

It's now 10 min after one. Someone is drumming outside the window and occassionally, the sound of a harmonica is heard. The lounge at the hostel is quiet as we type on our PCs, and others read. It's a comfortable silence.

I love this place.

We reached SD around 7.30 pm and made our way successfully without getting lost to the hostel. Of coz we did stop people along the way to ask for directions and did walk around aimless for a few streets however we were never in the wrong direction.

Qiuyi and I are staying in Hostelling International and sharing a room with 9 other females. People who are early sleepers. Or perhaps we are simply the abnormal ones. I really do not know. Hostel is clean, friendly, big, has clean sheets, everything we need. Food around here is extremely expensive (USD 15 and above) as there are only restaurants around here. So we visited Ralph's- a huge supermarket which has EVERYTHING including xiao bai chai- for food supplies. and they didn't missed putting into our plastic bag, our bottle of yoghurt.

Tomorrow brings with it lots of promises. It's Old Town then Hillcrest and where we will make our journey back to downtown and explore more of it in the day. Bidding has to be taken care of in the evening and then it is more walking, more exploring the scene.

Day after, it's Balboa Park, San Diego Zoo, Musuem of Photographic Art.

EXCITED.

n extremely tired.

Had a great day today. Rented a car, drove to the premium outlets, bought a pair of socks, pants to exercise in, stuff for others. Drove to hollywood, Santa Monica beach, heard the most amazing sounds of waves, and watched midnight waves crash against the cold compact sand. A fruitful day, a satisfying day.