End of the road

I've not been posting updates for ages. If there are updates, they are far in between. For months now, I've not really felt this urge to blog about my life, what I see how I feel constantly. Perhaps it is because i think too much and have too many thoughts jumbled up, or perhaps i just have nothing to say after these thoughts have been sorted out. Nothing I consider consequential, some things too consequential to be written on the blog. Blogging has in a way aided the introvert in me.

In my opinion, blogging is simply a shorthand to knowing more about someone's life and their thoughts so you know what to ask, what to be careful about, what you need to say. When you blog about something, you are extending an invitation to ALL readers to peep into your life and probe. Why else would you publish something on the world wide web? I personally find it ridiculous and contradictory that people blog about secrets they do not want revealed- not that I know such people although I've heard of them. These people are simply asking for it. No sympathy for them when shit befalls them. But enough bitching about people I don't know.

I have discovered that, I don't really want everyone to know about my life through a blog. It's too sketchy, too one-sided, too dependent on the feeling at a particular moment, too unbalanced. The people who do read this blog already do know about my life and those who dun are already on my msn. If you aren't, add me: annetan@hotmail.com

I've decided to close this blog. I no longer have this desire to self-censor myself when I type, choose what I write about, feel this need to update the blog. A new blog might just spring up in time, but it'll be later than sooner. It's been a good year and a half but I think, I'll go back to writing a diary. Adios.

Since stepping onto Singapore soil I've learnt that cept for my immediate reaction to the weather (the 'open suana' effect), nothing of significance has changed. I've simply slipped back into the same routines, the same mould.

Through this trip, I realised the great friends I have made throughout the years, some who ACTUALLY went to the airport to pick me up eventhough they knew full well we wouldn't be spending much time immediately after that catching up, those who actually remembered the date that I returned and actually made an effort to msg me, welcoming me back. It really means a lot to me. n i choose to believe that it comes straight from the heart and not from the fact that I bring with me stuff they wanted me to buy from US *grinz*.

Since Tuesday, I've had my share of homecooked dinners, breakfasts, gone to Zouk which was a rather disappointing experience, managed to bum at home, bid for my modules and now a steam boat lunch cum mahjong session at Siying's. The sense of belonging is really strong here.

Things to remedy : bad skin, bad hair, weight, the art of bumming